My Immortal - Spelling Edited
by Firellea
Summary: A tale of love, music, clothes, and very poorly written sex. By Tara Gilesbie, I own nothing but the time I spent editing. Rated T for the cursing and because My Immortal needs strong minds to cope with the sheer stupidity of it all.
1. The horror begins

**Original story by Tara Gilesbie, I own nothing but the, uhm, time I spent correcting all spelling and grammatical errors. Also, I will not be putting in any ENs except at the end, and I will underline them. This will be basically the story, but not so eye burningly awful.**

**Now let us begin.**

**_AN: Special fangz (get it, cause I'm Gothic) to my gf (ew, not in that way) Raven, bloodytearz666 for helping me with the story and spelling. You rock! Justin you're the love of my depressing life u rock too! MCR ROCKS!_**

Hi, my name is Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way, and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back, and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee. _(AN: if u don't know who she is get the hell out of here!)_. I'm not related to Gerard Way, but I wish I was cause he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a vampire, but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example, today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was. Draco Malfoy!

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

**AN: Is it any good? Please tell me, fangs! ****EN: No, it sucks.**

Chapter 2.

_ AN: Fangs to bloodytearz666 for helping me with this chapter! BTW preps stop flaming my story, ok!_

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle which I had. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took off my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

My friend, Willow _(AN: Raven this is you!)_ woke up, then grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup together. (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

"Oh my fucking god, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No, I so fucking don't!" I shouted.

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily.

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR. "Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped.

**Well, guess it's over for now. Not too bad so far...**


	2. The first painful sex scene

**EN - Welcome back to My Immortal, Edited Version. I don't even know why you're bothering reading this crap, but it's your decision. **

**Now let us get back to****this.**

Chapter 3.

_AN: STOP FLAMING THE STORY, PREPS, OK! Otherwise, fangs to the gothic people for the good reviews! FANGS AGAIN RAVEN! Oh yeah, BTW I don't own this or the lyrics for Good Charlotte._

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On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnets on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show, too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner. _(AN: A lot of cool boys wear it, ok!)_.

"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice.

"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car and went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

"You came in cold, you're covered in blood, they're all so happy you arrived, the doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom, she sets you free into this life." sang Joel _(I don't own the lyrics to that song)_.

"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sang, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Draco looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

"Hey, it's ok, I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." I added disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into… the Forbidden Forest!

Chapter 4.

**This isn't so bad... Yet. Thank god for Raven, Tara's editor. Unluckily, they'll be getting into a little fight sometime, and this will become as bad to edit as Tara's****ANs.**

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_AN: I said stop flaming ok? Ebony's name is_ EBONY **EN - That originally said "Ebonys name is ENOBY" O.o. **_ not Mary Sue, OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LOVE with her that he is acting different! They knew eachother before, ok!_

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"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"

Draco didn't answer, but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily.

"Ebony?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing colored contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.

And then… suddenly just as I thought that Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then…

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING MOTHERFUCKERS!"

It was… Dumbledore!

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**Oh thank god, it's over. I mean, "Put his thingie into my you-know-what"? Seriously? On one hand, while I'm relieved that I didn't have to edit a more detailed potent sex scene, a sex scene that bad is just... Facepalm.**


	3. Vampire, the hot Harry Potter

**Well here we are again. I must be really bored to even be doing this in the first place.**

Chapter 5.

_AN: STOP flaming! If you flame it means you're a prep or a poser! __**EN - Excellent logic, Tara.**__ The only reason Dumbledore swore is cause he had a headache ok? And on top of that he was mad at them 4 having sex! PS I'm not updating until I get five good reviews!_

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Dumbledore made Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludicrous fools!" he yelled.

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Draco comforted me. When we got back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry.

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor McGonagall.

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape.

And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms."

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. **EN - Why the hell is she upset? They got clean away with it, didn't they?** I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out….

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live' by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.

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**Well well. That's one chapter done. Whew.**

Chapter 6.

_AN: Shut up preps ok! PS I won't update until u give me good reviews!_ **EN - She hasn't spelled "reviews" right one single time -_\ **

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The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. **EN - Shallow much?** He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn't have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forehead anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly likJoel Madden. He was so sexy. I was very turned on by him.

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled.

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled.

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.

"Really?" he whimpered.

"Yeah." I roared.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.

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**Well, that's another two chapters down. I'm beginning to wonder if I should leave the ANs unedited so you can see the god awful spelling in 'em.**


	4. In which Ebony is an idiot

**To my own surprise, I'm back doing this again when I should be working on my shipping fanfic. Also, this has several editor notes. **

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Chapter 7.

_AN: Well, ok you guys. I'm only writing this cause I got 5 god reviews. And BTW I won't write the next chapter until I get TEN good ones! STOP FLAMING OR I'LL REPORT YOU! Ebony isn't a Mary Sue ok she isn't perfect SHES A SATANIST! And she has problems shes depressed for god's sake!_

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Draco and I held pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist signs **EN - Sorry for this EN, but I really don't know if it WAS signs. Was originally "sings".** on my nails in red nail polish _(AN: See, does that sound like a mary sue to you?)_. I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…

We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up **EN - Wat?** before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather bra and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. _(See, is that stupid?)_ **EN - Yes. **

"Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an orgasm. When all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody Gothic writing were the words… Vampire! **EN - So? It could just mean that he's a vampire or something. Dumb b|tch.**

I was so angry.

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

"No! No! But you don't understand!" Draco pleaded. But I knew too much.

"No, you fucking idiot!" **EN - How is he an idiot?** I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!" **Just so you know, later in the story she says she loves gay guys. But here she says that he prolly has AIDs for having sex with V... Oh I don't even know anymore. **

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what, but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people.

"VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled.

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Chapter 8.

_AN: Stop flaming ok! If you do then you are a prep!_

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Everyone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.** EN - I sincerely doubt in a canon world, even if he was in love with her, that Draco would ever do that. Oh wait. I forgot it's My Immortal. No reason applies here.**

"Ebony, it's not what you think!" Draco screamed sadly.

My friend B'loody Mary Smith smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. Hermione was kidnapped when she was born. It turned out her real parents were vampires and one of them was a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and is very haunted and depressed. It also turned out that her last name was Smith and not Granger. Since she converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin not Griffindor. **En - Thank you for that long and completely useless "fact". **

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!" I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped.

I don't know why Ebony was so mad at me. I had went out with Vampire (I'm bi and so is Ebony) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.) **EN - WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? DID TARA JUST SWITCH VIEWPOINTS OR SOMETHING? **

"But I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" said Vampire.

"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virginity to Draco and then I started to burst into tears.

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**Well that was confusing. K see ya next time.**


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